Sunday, May 2, 2010

Late Breaking News: Hades Abducts Persephone; Desperate Demeter Turns the World into a Desolate Wasteland

News Journalist: I'm Roy Thompson live in Greece as this dramatic story continues to unfold. Currently Hades has stolen away to the Underworld with Persephone and is refusing to release her. Persephone's mother, Demeter, the goddess of agriculture, is distraught and crops have begun to fail all over the world. If a solution isn't found for this crisis, the lesser beings of the world, that is, humankind, will face dire food shortages and certain peril. Word from Olympus has it that Zeus will attempt to initiate talks with Hades through his emissary, Hermes. Now, to help us gain perspective on these events, I have with me Artemis, the Olympian goddess of the hunt. Artemis, what are your feelings about what Hades has done?
Artemis: Well, Roy, I'm shocked. I never thought Uncle Hades capable of something like this but surely he hadn't the best role model in his more powerful brother, my father, Zeus. I'm surprised Dad didn't stir up worse drama with all of his romantic adventuring...Uh, and, Roy, I feel deeply for Persephone and her mother. I truly hope we can work this out for everyone's best interest.
News journalist: Artemis, is there anything you would like to say to Hades, if your uncle is listening right now?
Artemis: Yes, yes there is. Uncle Hades, you've embarrassed Olympus with this rash act, you've embarrassed yourself, and now the consequences have begun to pile up. Open the gates to the underworld, Uncle Hades, and let's figure out how to fix this.
News journalist: Thank you, Artemis. The world waits in desperation for the next move of the gods. I'm Roy Thompson live in Greece.

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